Archive for Dr. Marta Adelsman

Releasing Resentment

Friday, April 11th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(April 11, 2014)

A year-and-a-half is a long time to hold a grudge.  Yet for that amount of time, a friend of mine had endured silence from a friend of his.  She had held onto a perception she had that he had dishonored her.  When I heard this, I knew I had to write about resentment.

You may have heard that holding onto resentment toward someone is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.  Well, it’s true. Read More→

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Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

Pressure or Peace?

Friday, March 28th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(March 28, 2014)

The clock let me know in no uncertain terms that my usual bedtime had come and gone. My brain felt tired and foggy as I sat at my computer, struggling to stay awake enough to complete the project on which I worked.  Yet I didn’t perceive that I had a choice. 

My thoughts kept pounding, “You have to get this done now!” The more I attempted to focus and concentrate, the more resistant and irritable I felt. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

Opt for Openness

Friday, January 3rd, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(January 3, 2014)

photo_martaadelsmanMy training and coaching has led me to believe that I’m a pretty good listener.  So imagine my chagrin when, in a recent phone conversation in which a friend shared a personal struggle, she gave me feedback that I hadn’t been listening very well.  I had two separate inner reactions: 1) intense resistance to the idea that I hadn’t listened well, and 2) surprise that she would be so bold as to say so!  Read More→

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The Secret to a Peaceful Holiday

Friday, December 20th, 2013

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(December 20, 2013)

photo_martaadelsmanDuring the holidays, many of you spend more time with family members than usual. As you prepare for this holiday season, stay aware. The extra stress and pressure makes you vulnerable to the ego’s antics. It’s easy to take personally any criticism that comes your way from other family members who are also feeling stressed and pressured.

I’m sharing with you a key principle of communication and spirituality: criticism aimed at you is really about the person who criticized you. It isn’t about you. Read More→

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A Deeper Gratitude

Sunday, December 8th, 2013

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(December 8, 2013)

photo_martaadelsmanWith Thanksgiving Day recently celebrated, I reflected on the subject of gratitude.  My thoughts about it this year have taken a little different direction than in previous years. 

I compared gratitude to the layers of a peach. The skin or outer surface can be likened to surface gratitude.  It’s about thankfulness for nice things, the material possessions that we own.  They make us feel good and they make life comfortable.  We appreciate that large, flat-screen TV, the new car, or the new patio furniture.  And we feel grateful for our jobs and our businesses that create incomes to fund these material possessions. Read More→

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Being Kindness

Friday, September 27th, 2013

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(September 27, 2013)

photo_martaadelsmanA long-time friend from Chicago recently came to visit.  During one of our discussions, I mentioned that I’m eliminating the words “right” and “wrong” from my vocabulary and from the way I live life.

My friend then asked a powerful question – “If we eliminate the concept of right/wrong, what is the basis on which we make choices? Where do the values come from that guide our decisions and interactions? For example, what motivates us toward kindness?” Read More→

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Facing Disruptions

Friday, September 13th, 2013

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(September 13, 2013)

photo_martaadelsmanLast month, while actively working to move my coaching business forward, I encountered some unexpected disruptions. I’m sure you can relate. 

It all happened at once. Technical glitches related to computer tasks; crises or help needed in the lives of people I care about; unexpected overnight guests; and the peaches on our peach tree suddenly ripe and ready for harvest — these all provided what I had labeled “disruptions.”   Read More→

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Do the Fear

Friday, August 16th, 2013

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(August 16, 2013)

photo_martaadelsman

Have you ever experienced that feeling in the pit of your stomach that comes upon you when you’re faced with the task of making a speech or singing a solo?  Have you ever felt too intimidated to join eHarmony or to ratchet your business to the next level? 

This pit-of-the-stomach feeling is called fear.  Perhaps you’re afraid that you’re too unlovable to end an abusive relationship.  Or you’re too worried about losing your children’s devotion to risk putting your foot down.  Maybe you’re so fearful of possible criticism that you don’t speak up for yourself and draw your boundaries clearly.  Or you’re too scared to forge a new direction because you fear you won’t meet the challenge. Read More→

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Conscious Addiction

Friday, August 2nd, 2013

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(August 2, 2013, 2013)

photo_martaadelsmanLooking at me, no one would guess it.  I’m addicted to carbohydrates.  Just because I’m not heavy has nothing to do with it.  Something takes over and, before I know it, I’m engaged in a binge.  I’m compulsively snarfing down something – anything — that contains sugar and white flour. Physically and emotionally, I feel sick afterward. 

Maybe you experience the same thing through alcohol or tobacco or the Internet or watching TV.  In any case, all of it amounts to a compulsive pattern of behavior that runs your life.  At times, it seems like it completely controls you.   Read More→

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A Myth of Relationship

Friday, July 19th, 2013

photo_martaadelsmanBy Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(July 19, 2013, 2013)

In my work with people who express challenges with their spouse or others close to them, I find that they often operate from a major myth. They believe that their partners or family members should be different than they actually are. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

The End of Seeking

Friday, July 5th, 2013

photo_martaadelsmanBy Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(July 5, 2013, 2013)

A lot of people come to the Sedona area because they seek spiritual enlightenment. One big reason that we pursue spiritual clarity is to decrease – and hopefully end – emotional and psychological suffering.

At the age of 16, I had a spiritual experience characterized by bliss and ecstasy. Like most spiritual experiences, it didn’t last. Much of my spiritual “journey” since then had been punctuated by longing and searching, trying to get that experience back. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

Let it be

Friday, June 21st, 2013

photo_martaadelsmanBy Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(June 21, 2013, 2013)

Today I found myself humming the tune of the Beatles song, “Let It Be.”  At the time it came out, I had no idea of the powerful impact those three words could have as a life practice.  Since then, for me they have come to have a great deal of practical value.  Read More→

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Black Holes

Friday, June 7th, 2013

photo_martaadelsmanBy Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(June 7, 2013, 2013)

I rarely experience depressive episodes, let alone suicidal thoughts. So imagine my surprise when, several months ago, thoughts of “offing” myself invaded my mind.

I had entered into a period of some inner upheaval brought on by a time of significant change and loss. I wondered what meaning life held, and I became depressed. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

Shocked to Life: A Teen Tale

Friday, May 24th, 2013

photo_martaadelsmanBy Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(May 24, 2013)

Once upon a time there was a teenage guy named Martin. He didn’t feel like he belonged in his world. Things occurred there that he didn’t know how to deal with; scary things like war and deadly hurricanes and planes flying into towers in his own land.

The adults in Martin’s life were so busy making a living that they didn’t have much time to spend with Martin. He felt like he wasn’t very important to them, so he felt sad and angry much of the time. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

The Art of No Assumptions

Friday, May 10th, 2013

photo_martaadelsmanBy Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(May 10, 2013) 

After my friend, Mary Cravets (now also my business coach), recently asked me for a back column for her e-zine about making assumptions, I was aghast to discover that I had no such column! I couldn’t believe, after years of teaching about not making assumptions, that I had never written an article about it. So I went to work, and here it is.

In one of my workshops, I lead participants through an exercise in which they talk briefly with a partner about their morning routine. Both partners, however, speak at the same time. At the end of the exercise, no one can report hearing more than a word or two of what their partner said. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

Accepting What Is

Friday, April 26th, 2013

photo_martaadelsmanBy Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(April 26, 2013) 

I had a lot of extra tasks to accomplish last week when I became sick. Instead of spending time getting done what I considered important work, I spent it lying in bed nursing my bronchial passages back to health.

As I healed, I went through a process. At first, I inwardly resisted my situation. Fighting it did no good; it had obviously won, so I began to move myself toward a state of acceptance. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

Manipulation

Sunday, April 14th, 2013

photo_martaadelsmanBy Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(April 14, 2013) 

In February, my oldest son came for a visit. I wanted him and three of my friends to meet, so I arranged for us all to have lunch at a local restaurant. I soon noticed that things weren’t going well.

People talking and dishes clashing echoed throughout the restaurant, making it challenging to hear each other across the table. In addition to this, my son didn’t feel well and was somewhat withdrawn. The conversation seemed rather “bumpy.” Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

Scarcity or abundance?

Friday, March 29th, 2013

photo_martaadelsmanBy Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(March 29, 2013) 

I’m sure you’ve heard your friends and relatives complain.  They may talk about what’s missing in their lives; about what isn’t working in their relationships, their jobs, their health or their finances.  How they would be happy if only they could get or have something different.

The world – in fact, the whole universe – works according to certain laws.  One of these universal laws states that what you put out, you get back in kind.  In other words, when you give, you receive. Read More→

Stand Still to Move Forward

Friday, March 15th, 2013

photo_martaadelsmanBy Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(March 15, 2013) 

I woke up one morning last August, my mind racing with projects that called to me for completion. The biggest one involved the prolific peach tree in our backyard. Hundreds of ripe peaches awaited my knife and freezer bags.

Normally my husband, Steve, and I partner in this annual venture of peach harvesting. However, Steve had plans to leave for Japan early the next morning to lead a tour (see www.adventuresinjapan.com). This tour had come up suddenly, so he had his own overwhelm to deal with. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

Compassionate Listening and Humor

Friday, March 1st, 2013

photo_martaadelsmanBy Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(March 1, 2013) 

I used to leave the presence of an elderly neighbor, when I lived in Chicago, feeling almost physically ill. Even though I knew her more than ten years ago, I recall vividly how this woman would often plunge into depths of complaining and blaming. I allowed her intense negativity to drag me down emotionally and to drain my energy. These interactions felt toxic to my system. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman