Archive for Dr. Marta Adelsman

Trust Your Intuition

Friday, September 5th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com

(September 5, 2014)

photo_martaadelsmanLike me, I’m sure you’ve faced situations where you felt anxious or nervous before going into a conversation.  You weren’t sure what to say, so you rehearsed a version of that conversation in your head.  Here’s a different way:

Trust that everything you need to know and say in any given situation will be revealed to you in the moment you need it.

You may have a rough idea of how you would like the conversation to go, yet you can’t really tell ahead of time what energy will show up between you and another in a future setting. Read More→

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Stop Beating Around the Bush

Friday, August 29th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com

(August 29, 2014)

photo_martaadelsmanYou’ve done it, too.  You prepare to make a point and something grips you so that you hesitate, feel flustered, and fumble for what to say.

Since I write about that which I most need to learn, I’m sharing about a recent conversation where this happened to me.  I hesitated and “beat around the bush” about what I really wanted to say, feeling kind of dumb in the process.   Read More→

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The Sweet Tone of Intuition

Friday, August 15th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com

(August 15, 2014)

photo_martaadelsmanOn this spring day in 1989, however, Ethan had no intention of giving in to his mother’s restriction.  He had made plans with his friend, Justin, and he felt determined to keep them NOW.  “Go ahead as soon as you’ve put in your half hour of practice,” I said in an even tone of voice. Read More→

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Creating calm through completion

Friday, August 1st, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com

(August 1, 2014)

photo_martaadelsmanSeveral months ago, my husband and I removed the carpet in our bedroom.  It took us a while to decide how we wanted to redo the floor. In the meantime, we lived with bare concrete. During these months, every time I entered the room I felt tense and anxious.  The floor pulled on my attention, draining my energy. Read More→

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The Nonsense of Comparison

Friday, July 18th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com

(July 18, 2014)

photo_martaadelsmanMost people I know (including myself) tend to compare themselves with others.  Here are some thoughts I’ve had lately about the effects of making comparisons on our inner peace…

Making comparisons is all about noticing differences in order to pass judgment toward yourself or another.  In comparison, someone always comes up short.

Most comparisons occur in the areas of physical appearance (image) or accomplishments.  They create either the drama of “better than” or “not good enough.”  Read More→

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Riding the Waves of Emotional Upheaval

Friday, July 4th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com

(July 4, 2014)

photo_martaadelsmanIn July of 2011, I experienced an emotional, spiritual and psychological crisis.  It came on suddenly. I share it with you today because of the richness of the lessons in it.

The upheaval coincided with an awareness of how attached I had become to my roles. I define “roles” as the ways in which I had chiseled and molded myself into an image that I presented to the world.  I questioned the authenticity of these roles of Life Coach and communication specialist, newspaper columnist, board president of an organization, spiritual teacher of sorts, even wife and mother.  Read More→

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An Exercise in Forgiveness

Friday, June 20th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com

(June 20, 2014)

photo_martaadelsmanWhen I recently made a list of people I needed to forgive, I didn’t realize it would be so long.  I kept thinking of people and situations to add.  I put down anyone and anything I could think of around which I had a little or a lot of judgment, negativity or resistance.  I also included aspects of myself that I had judged. Read More→

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Ain’t It Awful

Friday, June 6th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com

(June 6, 2014)

photo_martaadelsmanWe all have patterns of relating that don’t serve us.  Often we don’t even know we have them.

You probably know people who engage in a communication game that Eric Berne, in his book Games People Play, called “Ain’t It Awful.”  I’m talking about folks who liberally use complaints in their conversations in which a “this-is-terrible” message lies behind almost every sentence. Read More→

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“I” Versus “You”

Friday, May 23rd, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com

(May 23, 2014)

photo_martaadelsmanBy the time we get to our 50s and beyond, we’ve put a lot of years into practicing communication habits that don’t serve us.  The longer we practice these habits, the more ingrained they become.  I indulged in one the other day.

“You’re not paying enough attention to me!” I said to my husband, Steve.  “You seem pre-occupied with getting ready for the tour you’re leading to Japan; you’re always somewhere else in your mind.  I’d like you to spend at least a little quality time with me before you go!” Read More→

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Out of the Harbor

Friday, May 9th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com

(May 9, 2014)

photo_martaadelsman

I’m sure my father didn’t realize what he was doing.  He didn’t know, when he called me a dummy or angrily asked, “Who do you think you are?” that he was teaching me to squelch my dreams.  So I believed into adulthood that I couldn’t dream big.  Thus I stayed in my safe harbor with my familiar goals and activities. Read More→

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There’s No Such Thing as a Dragon

Friday, April 25th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(April 25, 2014)

On my shelf sits a children’s book that I used to read to my three sons when they were small.  It’s entitled There’s No Such Thing As a Dragon by Jack Kent.

In the story, Billy Bixby awakens one morning to find a kitten-size dragon in his room.  His mother convinces him there is no such thing as a dragon, so Billy stops paying attention to it. As he ignores it, it grows larger and larger, eventually wreaking havoc on the Bixby house and in the neighborhood. Read More→

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Releasing Resentment

Friday, April 11th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(April 11, 2014)

A year-and-a-half is a long time to hold a grudge.  Yet for that amount of time, a friend of mine had endured silence from a friend of his.  She had held onto a perception she had that he had dishonored her.  When I heard this, I knew I had to write about resentment.

You may have heard that holding onto resentment toward someone is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.  Well, it’s true. Read More→

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Pressure or Peace?

Friday, March 28th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(March 28, 2014)

The clock let me know in no uncertain terms that my usual bedtime had come and gone. My brain felt tired and foggy as I sat at my computer, struggling to stay awake enough to complete the project on which I worked.  Yet I didn’t perceive that I had a choice. 

My thoughts kept pounding, “You have to get this done now!” The more I attempted to focus and concentrate, the more resistant and irritable I felt. Read More→

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Opt for Openness

Friday, January 3rd, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(January 3, 2014)

photo_martaadelsmanMy training and coaching has led me to believe that I’m a pretty good listener.  So imagine my chagrin when, in a recent phone conversation in which a friend shared a personal struggle, she gave me feedback that I hadn’t been listening very well.  I had two separate inner reactions: 1) intense resistance to the idea that I hadn’t listened well, and 2) surprise that she would be so bold as to say so!  Read More→

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The Secret to a Peaceful Holiday

Friday, December 20th, 2013

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(December 20, 2013)

photo_martaadelsmanDuring the holidays, many of you spend more time with family members than usual. As you prepare for this holiday season, stay aware. The extra stress and pressure makes you vulnerable to the ego’s antics. It’s easy to take personally any criticism that comes your way from other family members who are also feeling stressed and pressured.

I’m sharing with you a key principle of communication and spirituality: criticism aimed at you is really about the person who criticized you. It isn’t about you. Read More→

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A Deeper Gratitude

Sunday, December 8th, 2013

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(December 8, 2013)

photo_martaadelsmanWith Thanksgiving Day recently celebrated, I reflected on the subject of gratitude.  My thoughts about it this year have taken a little different direction than in previous years. 

I compared gratitude to the layers of a peach. The skin or outer surface can be likened to surface gratitude.  It’s about thankfulness for nice things, the material possessions that we own.  They make us feel good and they make life comfortable.  We appreciate that large, flat-screen TV, the new car, or the new patio furniture.  And we feel grateful for our jobs and our businesses that create incomes to fund these material possessions. Read More→

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Being Kindness

Friday, September 27th, 2013

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(September 27, 2013)

photo_martaadelsmanA long-time friend from Chicago recently came to visit.  During one of our discussions, I mentioned that I’m eliminating the words “right” and “wrong” from my vocabulary and from the way I live life.

My friend then asked a powerful question – “If we eliminate the concept of right/wrong, what is the basis on which we make choices? Where do the values come from that guide our decisions and interactions? For example, what motivates us toward kindness?” Read More→

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Facing Disruptions

Friday, September 13th, 2013

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(September 13, 2013)

photo_martaadelsmanLast month, while actively working to move my coaching business forward, I encountered some unexpected disruptions. I’m sure you can relate. 

It all happened at once. Technical glitches related to computer tasks; crises or help needed in the lives of people I care about; unexpected overnight guests; and the peaches on our peach tree suddenly ripe and ready for harvest — these all provided what I had labeled “disruptions.”   Read More→

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Do the Fear

Friday, August 16th, 2013

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(August 16, 2013)

photo_martaadelsman

Have you ever experienced that feeling in the pit of your stomach that comes upon you when you’re faced with the task of making a speech or singing a solo?  Have you ever felt too intimidated to join eHarmony or to ratchet your business to the next level? 

This pit-of-the-stomach feeling is called fear.  Perhaps you’re afraid that you’re too unlovable to end an abusive relationship.  Or you’re too worried about losing your children’s devotion to risk putting your foot down.  Maybe you’re so fearful of possible criticism that you don’t speak up for yourself and draw your boundaries clearly.  Or you’re too scared to forge a new direction because you fear you won’t meet the challenge. Read More→

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Conscious Addiction

Friday, August 2nd, 2013

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com 
(August 2, 2013, 2013)

photo_martaadelsmanLooking at me, no one would guess it.  I’m addicted to carbohydrates.  Just because I’m not heavy has nothing to do with it.  Something takes over and, before I know it, I’m engaged in a binge.  I’m compulsively snarfing down something – anything — that contains sugar and white flour. Physically and emotionally, I feel sick afterward. 

Maybe you experience the same thing through alcohol or tobacco or the Internet or watching TV.  In any case, all of it amounts to a compulsive pattern of behavior that runs your life.  At times, it seems like it completely controls you.   Read More→

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