Archive for Dr. Marta Adelsman

The Gift of Openness

Friday, June 12th, 2015

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(
June 12, 2015)

photo_martaadelsmanRecently I decided to use my practice of jogging to improve my posture.  As Bella trots beside me, her little white cockapoo legs a blur, I focus on how I carry myself:  core tight, rib cage lifted, shoulder blades together, chin back, breath-in, breath-out, left-right, left-right.

In years past, I have often sat or stood round-shouldered in an attempt to shield myself from potential emotional pain.  For years I had a low opinion of myself, moving through life apologizing for my wants, my needs, and my existence.  With my body in a hunched-over position, I had a very nice view of the ground.  Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

The Alchemy of an Argument

Friday, May 29th, 2015

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(May 29, 2015)

photo_martaadelsmanImagine picking up a dirty, rusty piece of metal and watching as it turns to gold in your hand.  That image is an allegorical representation for something that happened to me last week.  My husband, Steve, and I had triggered each other into an argument.  With significant others, certain subjects seem to ignite our emotions and we dig in our heels, raise our voices, or shut down.  In this dialogue with Steve, our different ways of approaching the topic collided, and sparks flew. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

Real Partnership

Friday, May 15th, 2015

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(May 15, 2015)

photo_martaadelsmanSometimes it happens that your significant other or someone else with whom you are close undergoes “problems.”  It’s easy to take on the problems, feeling them as your own.

It serves you to develop the ability to remain unattached when your significant other experiences depression, anxiety, or other reactions to life’s ups and downs.  Know that anything he/she goes through is not your fault and it is not about you. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

Handling Perfectionism

Friday, May 1st, 2015

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(May 1, 2015)

photo_martaadelsmanWe all know people for whom things must be “perfect.”  We often label them as controlling, picky, critical, etc. If you have ever lived with a perfectionist, you have witnessed his or her frustration when things don’t go as they “should.”

The degree to which people insist on perfection in others or in their environment equals the degree to which they insist on perfection within themselves.  It’s a huge burden they place on themselves, and they suffer because of it. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

No Problem

Friday, April 17th, 2015

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(April 17, 2015)

photo_martaadelsmanI grabbed my journal to try to make sense of the confusion and internal dissonance I felt.  I wanted to shed some light on a pattern that has shown up in my life for many years (the details don’t matter here), a pattern that I felt did not serve me.  “Finally,” I thought, “I’m going to get a handle on this problem!”

Following my usual journaling style, I wrote out the “problem” as I saw it and then sat quietly, ready to face it down. I asked and waited for an answer to percolate from the Silence into my conscious mind, one that would put a sword right into the heart of the problem. With pen poised, I would write whatever came to me. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

Fusers and Isolators

Friday, April 3rd, 2015

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(April 3, 2015)

photo_martaadelsmanIn most relationships, there exists a pattern where one person wants to move closer and the other desires to move away.  Fusers, who want more closeness, often appear to their partners as needy, while isolators, who resist closeness, seem cold and uncaring. (This dynamic also appears in friendships and in many family relationships.)

Each wants to change the other, and each makes the other wrong. Trying to get your partner to change leads to tension and suffering. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

The Mess of Humanness

Friday, March 20th, 2015

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com
(March 20, 2015)

photo_martaadelsmanLife is messy.  When we appear on this planet, none of us can escape calamity, confusion and chaos.  For some, it’s chronic.  For others, it’s occasional.  For all of us, “messy” happens.

Relationships contain untidy incidents that feel unpleasant.  They may bring up anger, guilt, anxiety, embarrassment and shame.  No matter how much you try to keep relationships neat and organized, at some point they will show up in a disheveled state. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

A Harrowing Birth

Friday, October 3rd, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com

(October 4, 2014)

**“Meet the Baby” Book Signing**

photo_martaadelsmanI don’t recall when the seed was first planted. I know I had been pregnant for years with the idea to put some of my newspaper columns into book form. When I heard about a local Author’s Forum to be held two months away, I decided to go for it. How difficult could it be to have the book ready?

I chose the columns, set up the manuscript in the self-publishing format required, and prepared the cover.  Things sailed along pretty smoothly until the last week of July.  I couldn’t seem to perform one vital technical task in my manuscript before I submitted it for review and publication.  I worked long hours for several days to find a way around the obstacle. Still I made no progress in solving the technical issue. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

Not Your Job

Friday, September 19th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com

(September 19, 2014)

photo_martaadelsmanFor the majority of the 43 years of my marriage to Steve, I looked to him to meet my emotional needs.  Then I learned this important lesson.  For those of you in a relationship, this may surprise you…

It’s not your significant other’s job to meet your needs.

It’s your job to meet your needs.  When you ask this of your partner, you place an unnecessary burden on the relationship that it often can’t sustain. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman

Trust Your Intuition

Friday, September 5th, 2014

By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
www.DrMartaCoach.com

(September 5, 2014)

photo_martaadelsmanLike me, I’m sure you’ve faced situations where you felt anxious or nervous before going into a conversation.  You weren’t sure what to say, so you rehearsed a version of that conversation in your head.  Here’s a different way:

Trust that everything you need to know and say in any given situation will be revealed to you in the moment you need it.

You may have a rough idea of how you would like the conversation to go, yet you can’t really tell ahead of time what energy will show up between you and another in a future setting. Read More→

Categories : Dr. Marta Adelsman